Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The Great Mystery, Standing Alone and the Mythological Treadmill
I am filled with self-doubt today and this reflects in choosing what to write about. Yesterday, I did some morning pages (for a Vein of Gold group I joined online). It was the first time in ages that I did so. I was amazed that I was able to do it in easy fashion and towards the end of it, I came up with several ideas on what to write about today. (I also wrote a poem later that I will post somewhere). But today I feel draggy and dull and dispirited, so I will write a little on each idea to see what happens (inside of me).
The Great Mystery is a catch-all phrase which means all of the following : God (the ultimate mystery), my life (what does it mean, where am I going, who am I . . .) and the world around us (this one completely baffles me). I guess i could include today's post as I have no idea where this is going.
Standing Alone is short for Standing Alone in Silence which based upon my own experience is a goal of meditation and (long pause here) a place where you can find things to manifest like creative ideas. Yesterday, I wrote a poem using this place - it just flowed out of me after I started on the original idea. The after effect of writing the poem was more important - I felt ecstatic, joyful and energy was flowing through me wildly - there was nothing I could not do - I was back - the good feeling of writing was back - but then I did two things guaranteed to destroy creativity 1) I watched TV and 2) I waited for and listened to other's reactions (to my poem)
So now I draggy today. But I will do my morning pages after this, so maybe I can get that good feeling back.
The Mythological Treadmill is what I call my journey to go further - I am not sure where or what further is or even if I would know it if I see it. So each day I stand upon my metaphorical treadmill and do things that I hope take me further.
I was reading the blogs of several blog veterans (people who have blogged for over two years) and I wondered if they ever wanted to go further (to do something deep) or are they content to blog post everyday with slice of life and chit-chat. I came upon a blog which discussed that yesterday (Natural) What to do when the Thrill is Gone ? I got thinking would I lose the thrill of blogging - Yes, I think I have already in one sense - I have lost thrill of entertaining people - I have been able to post on this blog for over 50 straight days because I love to do it - I think it helps me grow - I think it takes me further - I think it helps me explore the Silence and I think it helps me understand a little of all life's Great Mysterys.
So somehow I was able to weave this mishmash into a somewhat related post.
I thank you for riding on the treadmill with me today,