Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Dark Winter NIght of the Soul

Twas a dark and scary night, winter - cold - the kind of cold only a soul can feel when it is hurting and the kind of dark and scary night that creeps all around you, whispering in your ears that you are helpless to fight it. The shadows dance in your mind and you wonder why - why you feel so bad. You are locked in the jail cell of self-repression, you can't seem to find your way out.
Laying in bed is the norm - for days not hours - what is the use, there is no hope in anything.

Somewhere in the midst of all that, I found a tiny voice that said "let go". I fought this voice because I thought letting go was quitting, giving up and that giving up was suicide. I did not want to die. Eventually, I ran out of fight and I let go.

When I let go, when I stopped trying to 'get over' my dark night, I found something strange occurring - I began to feel more peaceful, less dark and stronger.

I began to look at what was haunting me in my dark night and what I found surprised me - the thinigs that were chasing me were not demons, they were answers.

I found that if I was able to face my 'demons' I would learn what I needed to change. What I needed to change in order to get my life back - in order to be happy again.

When I worked through making these changes I found that I was not just happy again - I was happier. Facing my demons had made me better,
Now I don't actively look for demons but when they show up - I face 'em, I deal with them fst not because I want to just get over them but because I know there is a lesson for me there somewhere that I need now.

So light up your life and face the demons,

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