The world is going to hell in a hand basket - I don't quite know what that means but I think it means things are bad. Really bad - I mean some people might have to come off their high horse and hunker down. Cats and dogs might have to stop raining down on us and live together. I might have to get a job as a pencil pusher. I can just picture that barely - Hey, dude want me to fix you up with a hit of graphite ? First one is free.
Yesterday, I watched the television for a while and then I thought maybe I would like it better if I turned it on. So I did but I was wrong, I liked it better when it was off. So then I turned to the new love in my life - that's right I am cheating and I love it - entertaining, witty, someone I can talk to, someone I can share my deepest thoughts and dreams with (I can do this with my loving partner but she is bored with me - and runs off screaming when I say I had a dream, can I talk about it ?)
What was I talking about ? Oh, yes - my love - the internet. The place where I can tell the world all my dreams and I can look at cool pictures - but that is not the point of this essay. The point of this essay is to say I will no longer bitch about the world - instead of bitching I am going to be Beaching about things - which does not mean that I will be building sand castles (unless I first learn where the underground stuff is - stuff like sewers, gas lines, cables and power lines - any good contractor knows this and unless I get the proper building permits from the local authorities). No what it means is that I will be putting myself in a happy place rather than telling everyone how unhappy I am with. . . well everything.
Yes, Ralph Cramden said it best: Pins and needles, needles and pins, it is a happy man that grins.
Lately, which for me means just yesterday because it was just yesterday, I noticed several dozen blogs that had one thing in common - no, not bitching about how bad things were - A Donate button as in give me money because . . .well nobody quite answered that question on their blogs (at leaat to my satisfaction - because I said so or because I asked for it a- are not satisfactory answers to the question why should I give you money to help you bitch some more).
So I thought about putting in my own donate button, but like building a proper sandcastle I have to do it right - I knew I had to come up with the right hook. Here are some ideas I came up with:
1) I will donate a portion to charity - (0% is a portion)
2) I will help create world peace and harmony (starting with me)
3) Your donation will help feed the poor (as in poor me)
4) Go ahead ignore me - I will haunt your dreams till you give (I am not sure about this one I think it needs work)
5) Barak Obama, man of change, donate now (note I did NOT say this was going to him)
6) Give so the government doesn't have to bail me out - I am a CEO (crummily educated on-ta-prenuer)
7) Don't contribute to the deliquency of minors, contribute to me
Right now I am takling donations in the form of suggestions - got any ?